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‘AITA for not inviting my father’s wife to my wedding?’ – Someecards

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“AITA for not inviting my father’s wife to my wedding?”

Back in 2012 my father divorced my mom for her friend whom he was cheating with and eventually got engaged the following year over summer. I was away doing an internship and found out he was engaged on Facebook. They gave me a date for the wedding. I was not sure if I wanted to go but I wanted to support my dad. Well two weeks before the date they told me I pop on Facebook to scroll and see a bunch of posts about a family wedding that day….

Yes my father and new bride lied to his children about the date of their wedding and had never intended to invite us because she felt “we would be a distraction to their big day.” Fast forward to this year 2024 and I am engaged planning my wedding for the fall. My dad called me up the other night and asked if she was invited. Am I the ahole for not wanting her there on my big day? I want to support my dad but at the same time what they did to me as a teenager took me a very long time to get over.

And if we’re being honest I don’t know if I’ll ever truly let it go. They made it so his kids were not welcomed while hers were in the wedding. They also took their honeymoon with family and friends on a cruise. Without us. Never even mentioned it. Curious if I’m being petty or if I am valid in not wanting her around during this time. One other note is we are not and have never been close since it came out she was the other woman. They have never tried to include us in anything meaningful these past 12 years.

Here’s what top commenters had to say about this one:

JanetInSpain said:

Honestly I wouldn’t invite him either. Why are you “supporting” your dad when he so blatantly ignored you and hurt you so badly? Some things deserve to be kept alive — and being purposely prevented from attending your father’s wedding is one of them.

Tell him he should just go on another cruise with his “real” family and forget about you. NTA. Relatives ≠ family and your dad has proved to you that he’s just a relative. Treat him (and his affair partner) as relatives undeserving of attending your wedding.

BlueGreen_1956 said:

NTA. You should not invite either of them but definitely not her. The petty in me would invite them both but give them the wrong date.

rationalboundaries said:

NTA. Why is this all on your father’s wife? Your father, a grown a$& adult, purposely excluded his children from wedding & honeymoon. He’s shown you who he is. Believe him. Save yourself years of disappointment & heart ache.

mrsmae2114 said:

NTA she has made it clear the extent to which she doesn’t respect you and your sibs, and it’s your day and you get to decide. You also would be NTA if you didn’t want to include your dad, but I get why you may want him and not his wife to attend. Sorry you’ve had to deal with all that BS, especially when you were just a teenager.

TwoBionicknees said:

NTA. The only question you have to ask is if he’s invited, which he shouldn’t be. He didn’t say hey my fiance doesn’t want you there because she knows you don’t like her, I get it sucks but I gotta do it. he lied to you, he invited you then let you find out the wedding was already happening.

She deliberate pushed him to effectively cut his kids out of his life and he agreed. She is a complete non starter, along with security dragging her ass away if she attempts to come, but he should pretty much be told where to shove it. Just give him the same line, if you see him you’ll be a distraction as you won’t be able to stop thinking about when he cut you out of his life and had a wedding after lying to you.

You could go the ultra petty route, invite them both, tell them everyone is going in the same dress, not just bridesmaids, send her a link for something semi expensive but shitty looking, have no one else show up in it obviously. Have an announcer at the door to announce everyone and when she walks in have the guy call her the wh$re and the cheater who cut us out of their wedding but felt entitled to be here. If they don’t run out embarrassed, throw them out after that.

AlannaAdvice said:

NTA, but I don’t think your father deserves your support and loyalty since he has shown you none himself. Wouldn’t invite either of them but predicting that he’ll refuse to come anyway without his wife (he seems the selfish type)

Everyone was on OP’s side for this one. What’s your advice for this wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit

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