Dad boycotts daughter’s wedding because she wants her stepdad to walk her down the aisle. AITA? – Someecards

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“AITA for skipping my daughter’s wedding?”

I (53M) have a daughter (27F) who is getting married in a few months-we will call her Kay. Kay has been with her soon to be husband for about 5 years now and they are finally tying the knot. I know he makes her happy, and that’s honestly all a father could possibly hope for-especially since I did not have a great time being married to her mother. I did remarry a couple of years back, as has my ex-wife. Because we are divorced and my ex-wife has had primary custody, I have had to accept knowing they’re has been another man helping raise my daughter.

I don’t like him, but not for any reason that makes a difference in this case-but they have been together since Kay was a child (around 8 or so). I used to take Kay every other weekend until she was 15 or 16 and she started working. After that, I tried to see here as much as possible when she had time.

I did my best to stay as much in her life as I could, but once she got older she had her own stuff going on, it became hard. I did end up moving down to Florida about 2 years ago with my now wife, so seeing Kay has become impossible unless someone travels, but we still talk. I know Kay has been busy planning her wedding, and I really don’t get a say in what happens.

Kay did call me asking for me to provide the bar charge, which was around $3k. I told her that shouldn’t be an issue since I’ll have some time to get that money together. Other than that, not much has said to me about her wedding. Well, my sister just came to visit us from Wisconsin and we were talking about K’s wedding. I don’t know what got the conversation going, but my sister filled me in on an interesting fact…apparently Kay wants me and her step-father to walk her down the aisle. This is the first I have heard of this.

This took me by surprise since I thought I had a better relationship with Kay than it seems. This flipped my whole world upside down. Giving her away at her wedding is something I have been looking forward to since the day she was born…and now that’s a moment I have to share with another man? And the fact that I heard from my sister and not straight from Kay. After my sister left, I called her. I told her that I wouldn’t be able to afford the $3k bar fee-which she seemed ok with…and then I asked her if it was true, her having us both walk her down the aisle-which she didn’t deny.

I told Kay that if that’s the case, I wouldn’t be attending her wedding period. At this point, we were both upset. I told Kay that if she cared so little about me to take my feelings into consideration that I had no interest in taking part of her wedding…but it really seemed like she didn’t care about me.

She never thought to tell me on her own…she never cared to ask me who I wanted to invite to her wedding…she really only brought her wedding up to me when she asked me for money. After all of this happened, I’ve had some people tell me I was a d$ck…but I think I have every right to not attend her wedding if I don’t want to.

Here’s what top commenters had to say about this one:

Ether-Demon said:

YTA. Good grief, you moved to Florida and are upset she wants you both involved. Grow up. You remind me of my own Father who did the same thing, moving to Florida and then I never saw him again until I got a call he was dead and they needed me to sign papers. You have a choice, be a child and refuse to go or support your daughter.

gooser_name said:

YTA. The state of your relationship is not her fault. It’s not her fault you separated, it’s not her fault you only saw her every other weekend, and it’s not her fault there was a third parental figure in her life. It may not be your fault either, but you’re her parent, you sort of have to support her relationship to her other parental figures (as long as they’re not actually bad).

I get that this is really hard for you, that there is jealousy, and I’m sorry you learned about this through your sister. But Kay was probably procrastinating precisely because she was worried you would react like this. Likely because she actually cares about you.

If she really didn’t care about you, she would not have wanted you to walk her down the aisle at all. Instead, think of it as a sign of the strength of your relationship that even though she has spent so many years living with this other man as a parental figure, you’re still important to her, you will still always be her father. I hope you decide to talk to her, express how you’re feeling but also try to understand her perspective. It may actually be a really important talk for you to have.

midnightsrose77 said:

YTA. My God, she wants the two men who helped her mother raise her to give her away at her wedding, and you’re throwing a tantrum over it? Wow. Just…wow.

TarzanKitty said:

YTA You parented your kid 4 days per month until you parented zero. That other man was her full time parent every day of her childhood. This isn’t about your daughter. It is about your pride.

ms-13king said:

YTA. You’re selfish and didn’t want to go to her wedding just because you were going to be with her stepdad. There’s a reason she has a stepfather in the first place and it’s because you were not a good father in her life.

RichSignal7022 said:

YTA. I imagine the choices were to have her stepfather walk her down the aisle on his own or both of you. I doubt you walking her down the aisle on your own was ever an option.

Absolutely no one was on OP’s side for this one. What’s your advice for this family wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit

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