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Enraged Bride Tells Off Friend for Sending “Disrespectful” $100 Wedding Gift Over Venmo – Brides

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If we had to choose one category of wedding etiquette that prompts the most questions (or drama), we’d choose gifts. There’s a lot of nuance to wedding gifting: Should you bring cash or something off the registry? Can you really send presents up to a year after the wedding? How much should you give? That last one—which is arguably the most contentious—was the source of one recent argument between a bride and one of her closest friends. In a since-deleted Reddit post on the platform’s “Wedding Shaming” thread, the guest posted screenshots of a text conversation she had with the woman of the hour in the event’s aftermath. The takeaway? The bride was unhappy with both the amount of money her friend gave and how she delivered it (via Venmo and a few days after the nuptials).

According to The New York Post (the outlet obtained the deleted screenshots), the bride reached out first to tell her friend, who was also late to the wedding, how she felt about the gift. “Hey so I got your $100 gift a couple of days after the wedding and honestly…kinda shocked and bummed about it. Feels a bit disrespectful,” the bride wrote. “Not only were you late to my ceremony, but the absence of a card just added to it.”

The bride shared that she didn’t think the value of the wedding gift was appropriate when compared to the guest’s recent birthday party costs. “Your birthday invite asked for $225 each and I would’ve done it without a second thought if I weren’t getting married,” she continued. “Yet, receiving just $100 for MY WEDDING felt like an afterthought and a bit tactless.” The bride, who added that her friend’s actions were “hurtful,” explained that she was sending the $100 back over the app. “I suggest taking a hard look at your relationships. If this is how you value friendships, it’s genuinely disheartening,” she concluded.

The guest was apologetic in her reply, but also provided some context for a few of her actions. “Hi, I’m so sorry you feel that way, it was not my intention at all! As a single person who does not drink, I’ve always given $100 as a wedding gift to my friends, in addition to shower gifts,” she replied. “Additionally, I truly thought the money transfer was the preferred method, since it was what was on the registry when I checked.”

According to the Redditor, she’d also rearranged international travel plans in order to attend the wedding, which added to her overall spend. And while she did apologize for being late to the ceremony, she noted that it wasn’t entirely her fault. “I drove [our friends] and it was not me who wasn’t ready on time, but I don’t blame you for being upset at all of us for this,” the guest stated. “I love both you [and the groom] so much and was so thrilled to be there for your big day, I hope you can understand where I am coming from too.”

The poster then opened up the floor to other users on Reddit, asking if she was wrong to send $100 over an app a few days after the fact. And while some Reddit dramas result in a clear answer, this one didn’t—in fact, most commenters thought both the bride and the guest had behaved badly. “I mean, I do think I probably would’ve written a card for a wedding, and I think sending it day of would’ve probably been nice. Makes you feel valued,” one comment wrote. “However, I do think the bride’s overreacting a little here, as her own requests set up Venmo to be the easy option, and that’s not a platform that drips sentimentality.” Another user had a stronger take: “Etiquette allows wedding gifts up to the first year of marriage. Sending a Venmo without a card is tacky. Showing up late to a wedding is crass. Sending the Venmo back with a text is rude. You all are ill mannered and self centered.”

Other posters took issue with the guest’s birthday party expectations and could therefore see the bride’s point—though the general consensus was that calling her out for this was unkind. “The bride is rude and a birthday party where people have to pay $225 to attend is also tacky,” one person wrote. Another user offered her thoughts on the comparison: “Does your group regularly have $225 pp birthday parties? I ask because that would make her comparison valid. Like, if I am paying $200+ few times a year almost every year to attend a friend’s birthday party, as in I could actually afford to do that, then I would make it a point to budget for something above that for a wedding gift.”

The primary takeaway, though, was that both the bride and her friend should have handled the situation with more grace, kindness, and communication. “Basically this could have been resolved by a bit more grace on both sides—if you had given a card and apologized promptly for being late, and if she had enough grace to let the amount and the lateness go,” one user shared.

This post was originally published on this site

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