“I Need Your Help”: Woman Sparks Debate After Showing Tan Dress She Planned To Wear To A Wedding – Bored Panda

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It’s common knowledge that the bride is the only woman who gets to wear white to a wedding. If someone else wears that color, it can be perceived as an attempt to steal her spotlight. But what about similar shades of white, such as tan, cream, or nude?

A woman named Tanya Bella sparked a conversation about wedding etiquette after she showed a white-ish dress she was planning on wearing to upcoming weddings.


  • Tanya Bella initiated a debate on wedding etiquette with a dress some deem too white for guest attire.
  • She sought advice due to her experience with Indian weddings, which have different attire norms.
  • Comments varied, with some saying the dress is inappropriate, while others thought it acceptable.

“I need your help. I got the most beautiful dress in the mail,” she said in a video, wearing the gown in question. 

“I am absolutely obsessed with it, but do we feel like this color is okay to wear to a wedding?”

“In person, it looks tan-cream-nude. I’m hoping because I’m dark, it doesn’t look white.”

Image credits: tanyabellla

In the caption of the clip, the New York resident mentioned that she had only been to Indian weddings, so she wanted her followers’ advice on whether the dress could offend the bride.

In a subsequent video, Tanya said that she had bought the “absolutely perfect” dress for a family trip. Still, given its formal look, she figured it could also be appropriate for a wedding.

She also held up the dress next to a white skirt to prove that it was, in fact, tan instead of white.

“I am absolutely obsessed with it, but do we feel like this color is okay to wear to a wedding?”


Image credits: tanyabellla

Additionally, she explained that there was no such thing as “upstaging the bride” at the weddings she attended in India.

“The concept does not exist. You’re basically encouraged to dress to the nines. They say red is off-limits, but people still wear red.”

“I know white isn’t allowed in Western weddings, but because it is so tan, I wasn’t sure. I’m not trying to sabotage anyone’s wedding.”

People rushed to the comments to voice their opinions on whether or not the dress crossed the line.

“Hard no. Gorgeous dress, tho,” someone wrote.

“NOT for a wedding. But definitely so gorrrrg for another event!!!” another TikTok user said.

Watch Tanya’s video below

@tanyabellla ive literally only been to indian weddings so sorry if its a dumb q #wedding #weddingoutfit ♬ original sound – Tanya

Image credits: tanyabellla

A separate person reminded Tanya of a rule of thumb for making these kinds of decisions: “My policy is if you have to question it, then no.”

“It’s absolutely gorgeous, but I’m getting married this spring, and if someone wore this to my wedding, I would cry,” another user expressed.

Somebody else weighed in on the debate, writing, “That’s an engagement or rehearsal dinner dress for a bride.”

However, others judged that the dress wasn’t inappropriate for the event.

“I mean, as a 2024 bride, I don’t think anyone’s gonna be confused about who’s getting married if I’m the one walking down the aisle,” someone said.


“Hell yeah. People are way too precious,” another woman wrote, while another commented, “I feel like it’s perfect for a spring wedding. A lot of projecting in these comments here..”

In a subsequent video, she held up the dress next to a white skirt to prove that it was, in fact, tan instead of white

@tanyabellla Replying to @Stacey | Fashion Photographer adding some context 🙂 please assume good intent. it truly is much tanner in person and to those who are stressed, i will not be wearing it! also ty to everyone who kindly responded! The dress is @Manning Cartell!! Also manning cartell, i love it and wouldnt mind getting the black one 🖤😭 #weddingguestdress ♬ original sound – Tanya

Why do so many of today’s brides wear white in the West? Queen Victoria’s 1840 wedding to Prince Albert is believed to have started the trend, according to Britannica.

Victoria reportedly opted for that color to show off the detailed Honiton lace produced by the British lace industry. Additionally, the delicate gown reflected purity and innocence.

In 1849, Godey’s Lady’s Book decreed “that white is the most fitting hue” for brides to wear, The Washington Post reported.

The American magazine—dubbed “the Vogue of the Victorian world”— said that the color was an “emblem of the purity and innocence of girlhood, and the unsullied heart she now yields to the chosen one.”

Before that, brides used to wear different colors for practical reasons. They thought it convenient to buy a wedding dress that could be worn again, or they simply wore the best dress they already owned.




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