A wedding is meant to be a special day celebrated with friends and family, including siblings. However, what happens when your sister has reservations about attending yours because of something you did to them a couple of years ago? One Reddit user has recently questioned whether or not they are being unreasonable for not wanting to go to their sister’s big day.
In their post, they explained that the pair have always had something of a “competitive relationship” to begin with. The sibling was also hurt when their sister failed to turn up to their graduation in the past. They wrote: “Two years ago, when I graduated from my Master’s program, she didn’t attend because she was on a retreat with her then-fiancé. It was a big deal for me because I was the first in our family to get a graduate degree, and I really wanted her to be there.
“I felt hurt, and we had a big argument about it. She said my graduation was “just another ceremony” and that I was being overly sensitive.” Now, the sibling is being accused of “sabotaging” their sister’s upcoming wedding by refusing to attend it. However, the Reddit user pointed out that the location is on an expensive island costing thousands of dollars and that they would struggle to afford going there. They said: “Fast forward to now, she’s getting married. The problem is, she chose a destination wedding on this very exclusive island, and the cost of attendance is way beyond what I can comfortably afford.
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I’m talking about several thousand dollars for the weekend. When I told her I might not be able to come, she freaked out and said I was trying to sabotage her special day. I’m also a bit tight on money because I’ve been saving up to buy a house. I tried explaining this to her, but she said that I’m being selfish and that I should take out a loan if I have to because it’s her “once in a lifetime” moment.”
There is some slight ray of hope for the sister’s wedding as they admitted, “I haven’t given her a definitive answer yet,” although they added, “but I’m leaning towards not going”. The sibling’s parents appeared to side with the bride to be, if not for the sake of family harmony.
It finished: “My parents are saying that I should just suck it up and go to keep the peace, but I don’t see why I should go into debt for her wedding when she couldn’t even drive across town for my graduation. So, AITA [Am I The A**hole] for not wanting to go to my sister’s wedding?”
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The online post is only a few days old at the time of writing and has already gathered at least 1,500 replies, with the vast majority of them in full support of the Reddit user not attending the wedding. One commented: “Never go in debt for someone else, especially a destination wedding. ‘I’m sorry I can’t afford that and won’t be attending’. Rinse and repeat.”
While another added: “If she needs you there let her pay for you. Seriously, don’t go. Your reasons are 100 per cent valid,” and someone else griped: “If your sister wanted to prioritize having everyone attend her wedding, she would have either made the wedding more accessible or offered to pay for her guests.” One person did question reason for not going to the wedding, however, but conceded that the sister’s behaviour wasn’t right and said: “I wouldn’t use her not going to your graduation as an excuse, but it does indicate how selfish your sister has been.”