“I See That As A Courteous Thing”: Mom Excluded From Sister’s Wedding Group Photoshoot For Nursing – Bored Panda

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Relationships between siblings can run the gamut from maximum love and support to pure hatred. The ancient Castor and Pollux on one hand, the biblical Cain and Abel on the other… Well, the sisters from our story today are obviously now going through a period of disapproval of each other.

For example, when the author, the user u/Throwraweddingseats, recently got married, she made sure that the moments with her breastfeeding elder sister were not caught on camera – and this clearly upset the new mom. However, let’s talk about everything just in order.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post got married a week ago and she wasn’t happy with her elder sister being present at the ceremony

Image credits: Wendy Wei (not the actual photo)

The problem is that the woman has a 5-month-old baby and prefers to breastfeed openly, even in public

Image credits: u/Throwraweddingseats

So she did at the author’s wedding too – but the bride took measures deliberately

Image credits: Asad Photo Maldives (not the actual photo)


Image credits: u/Throwraweddingseats

She seated the sister far away from the camera and asked the photographer to not shoot the sister if he saw her nursing

Image credits: KAL VISUALS (not the actual photo)


Image credits: u/Throwraweddingseats

So it happened – and the sister was very upset at not being present in literally any of the wedding photos

So, the Original Poster (OP) tells us that she got married a week ago, and all the relatives, of course, were present at the ceremony. But the bride wasn’t happy to see all of them. For example, her elder sister, who showed up with a 5-month-old baby. And it was precisely around this kid that the problem arose.

The thing is that the OP’s sister always prefers to breastfeed (her eldest daughter is 2 years old and she did this the same way too), not at all embarrassed by those around her, and without covering up the baby’s head or anything. In turn, the author considered this behavior to be a kind of manifestation of ‘exhibitionism’ – and did not at all want to have these breastfeeding moments on camera.


First, the bride made sure that from the place where the videographer’s camera would be installed, the seat where she had placed her sister wouldn’t be visible. And then she deliberately asked the cameraman not to film her sister if possible if he saw her breastfeeding the baby openly.

After the wedding, the bridesmaids said that the sister was unhappy that she and the baby weren’t on camera at all. It turned out that during the group shooting, the photographer, seeing her nursing the baby, several times asked the mom to leave the frame (here the OP ironically says that she’s even ready to pay them extra for doing so).

However, the bride is now wondering whether her behavior was a manifestation of hypocrisy and prudence. In any case, the original poster took it online to seek people’s advice and probably support.

Image credits: Frans Daniels (not the actual photo)

Well, a certain element of prudence seems to still be present here. At the very least, researchers are almost sure that the issue largely lies in the excessive sexualization of female breasts in contemporary society.

“It is important to note that the sexual function of breasts is culturally determined rather than inherent, the perception of breasts as sex organs impacts upon how women who use their breasts for their milk producing function are perceived and treated,” says this study by Athena Sheehan, Karleen Gribble & Virginia Schmied, published at the International Breastfeeding Journal in 2019.


“It has been identified that women who breastfeed in public may be accused of sexual exhibitionism or sexual immorality. However, such censorship is not about breasts being seen, as breasts are ubiquitous in Western advertising, fashion and media,” the researchers note.

“Infants typically feed anywhere from eight to 10 times in a day,” USA Today also quotes Dr. Lori Feldman-Winter, who chairs the breastfeeding wing of the American Academy of Pediatrics. “It’s normal that babies feed regularly throughout the day and may literally feed as often as every hour.” So the original poster’s sister really cared about her child first, and only then about the opinions of others.

At the same time, the viewpoints of commenters on the original post were very divided. Some people actually agreed with the author that they wouldn’t like to see these breastfeeding scenes in her wedding photos. “Nothing against public breastfeeding, but I wouldn’t want to see that in my formal wedding photos or video – especially if she’s doing it for the attention,” one of the commenters wrote.

On the other hand, some folks in the comments reasonably noted that it’s not necessary to include images with a breastfeeding sister in a wedding album, and the video can also be edited easily. “To my knowledge wedding videos are often edited with music etc, so there was no need to make her aware of anything really,” another person reasonably added in the comments.

Well, on the one hand, it’s not very pleasant to have a person in your wedding photos who’s trying to deliberately draw attention to themselves. On the other hand, it’s even more unpleasant when they tell you how, when and where you should breastfeed your baby. In this dilemma, the bride made her choice, and whether she was right or wrong – it’s up to you, our readers, as well.


Experts believe the problem is breasts’ sexualization in modern society, and the commenters’ opinions were mostly divided


This post was originally published on this site

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