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Man boycotts stepbrother’s wedding over last minute invitation, ‘I booked a trip overseas.’ AITA? – Someecards

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“AITA for not going to my brother’s wedding after a late invite?”

I (27M) have two stepbrothers, Justin (30M) and Evan (27M), our parents have been married for 15 years. I was close to be both throughout my teen years, however Evan and I no longer speak since we were 22. This is entirely my fault as I slept with his recent ex-girlfriend. I f*ked up and ruined our relationship, and he will likely never speak to me again. I deserve it, and do not blame Evan at all. Justin and my stepmother also didn’t speak to me for a couple years.

Evan doesn’t want to see me, and so we havent been in the same room since we were 22 either. How this works is basically Evan getting invited first to anything that Justin or our parents are planning, and I am invited if he can’t make it. I know it’s awkward, and that I’ve cause this situation, I am just glad to see them at all, so it isn’t my place to complain.

Justin is getting married on Monday, and Evan is his best man. Justin and I haven’t really talked about the wedding at all, since I’m obviously not invited it would be awkward to do so. I booked a trip overseas during the time of his wedding, to get away instead of being home and sad not to be there. I didn’t tell Justin or our parents, because there was no need to bring it up. We all know I wasn’t going to be there, and why.

On Friday night Justin tried to call me but I was sleep (middle of the night where I am right now). I got his message this morning asking me to call him, and saying Evan has agreed I could come to the wedding and that he really wants me there. if I was home the wedding would be 45 mins away and I’d go in a heartbeat, but im in Europe with a friend from college.

I told Justin that unfortunately I can’t make it because I’m away. Now he’s mad at me for not telling him I was going away, and for all the effort he spent in convincing Evan to let me come. But I never asked him to do that, and I would have told him not to because I don’t think its fair to Evan who has sat a boundary. I’m not trying to cause him more pain.

Justin is pissed at me, and blocked me. One of cousins said he’s furious, and said like Evan he’s through with me. My dad called me later and told me if it’s about money he’d buy my ticket home, but I explained it’s not just about money (although a lot of the trip is unrefundable). If it was just me I’d consider going home, but im traveling with a friend who didn’t sign up to be in Europe for 10 days by himself.

My cousins and my dad think I’m being an ahole not coming to the wedding. But I think it’s unfair when the wedding is in two days. I know that the situation exists because of my actions, but AITA for not flying back tomorrow to attend the wedding?

EDIT:

I know the majority said im NTA, but I spoke with my friend and im catching a flight home today (Monday) and coming back on Tuesday. I can’t lose another brother or the opportunity to see evan. i dont think it was fair to ask, but I cant risk it.

Here’s what top commenters had to say about this:

Specific_Anxiety_343 said:

Total NTA and your family are all idiots. You slept with dude’s ex five years ago and they’re still mad? And now they’re mad because you declined a late wedding invitation? That’s just nuts.

izziefans said:

You are definitely NTA. Kudos on the self-awareness and taking responsibility for your actions. Can your dad buy your travel friend a ticket as well? Would your friend be interested in going to Justin’s wedding? Seems like a golden opportunity to mend relationships BUT also, by Justin’s immature reaction, maybe the relationship is not ready to be mended yet.

KawaiiWeabooTrash said:

NTA I can see why he’d be upset but like…they’re being really unfair. I’m sorry that there is so much pain in your family.

MsCurious_75 said:

NTA. You had no idea what Justin was doing in the background trying to get Evan agree to you attending a wedding. (Even if you were at home, it’s on a Monday – I don’t know if you work, but that could have been a problem too).

McGoogger said:

NTA you respected a boundary and now they’re mad lol. I wouldn’t be comfortable attending a function where someone had to be convinced to invite me. Not fair to your friend to be stuck in Europe alone, you were expecting to not be invited, like usual. And you don’t have to tell everyone your itinerary, if your brother was trying to convince your other brother, he can let you know to keep that night free in case you can come. They’re overreacting. Not to what you did in the past, but what happened now. Hope they chill out

Confident_Wave_5048 said:

NTA. I think they (your family) are being ridiculous, and I hope Evan and Justin confide in friends who tell them exactly that. I can’t imagine what Evan is feeling, but I don’t know if it’s worth you constantly being invited only if Evan cannot attend an event. I would not put my life on hold like that.

Your family has gotten used to you not making any fuss and going with whatever works for them. Justin should have spoken with Evan as soon as he got engaged. You are a good friend for not ditching the holiday and leaving someone stranded by themselves. If your family want to make amends, they will. This is on them, not you.

Everyone was on OP’s side for this one. What’s your advice for this wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit

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