Sister and Family Beg Couple to Move Wedding—Internet Backs Why They Refuse – Newsweek

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The lead-up to a wedding can be stressful, but one Reddit user has encountered an unexpected dilemma.

A Reddit post titled, “AITAH [Am I the a******] for refusing to postpone my wedding for my sister’s delivery,” has racked up more than 8,400 upvotes since May 31.

“My sister just told me she’s due to give birth on the same day as my wedding,” the poster said. However, u/skinnywardrobe is hesitant to change the date, as it has been planned for over a year and would cause significant hassle. Newsweek contacted a wedding expert to understand the implications of such a change.

Zoe Burke, the editor of wedding website Hitched, said: “Whilst it’s not impossible to change a wedding date, it’s not an easy thing to do. For a start, most wedding vendors require deposits to hold your date, and if you have to change it, you run the risk of losing the deposits, which can add up to thousands.”

Burke added that it could also result in the unavailability of chosen vendors who fit both preferences and budget. Additionally, guests might have already arranged their schedules, including annual leave and child care, around the original date.

Burke said: “Moving the date isn’t a simple or straightforward thing to do at all. It’s a tough situation that this nearly-wed has found herself in; and it’s not that uncommon, as lots of people get married and welcome babies around the same age.

“The best-case scenario here is that her sister will still be able to attend, either heavily pregnant or with a newborn, if she wants to, and the couple can make arrangements for her such as a place to feed her baby or rest away from the party if she wants to, or that she can watch on a livestream as they’ve proposed and celebrate with them another time.

“It’s hard to miss out on a loved one’s life event, but if it’s because you’re navigating a huge life event of your own at the same time, that can quickly take precedence,” Burke added.

A couple get married under a shower of petals. An expert told Newsweek why postponing a big day isn’t a good idea.
A couple get married under a shower of petals. An expert told Newsweek why postponing a big day isn’t a good idea.
PeopleImages/iStock/Getty Images Plus

The Knot says that the average cost of a wedding in 2023 was $35,000 nationwide, reflecting a $5,000 increase from 2022. The wedding-planning website adds that most deposits are typically 50 percent of the total bill, and they are nonrefundable in cases of postponement or cancellation.

The Reddit user said: “We didn’t know she was pregnant when we set the date. I get that childbirth is a big deal, but so is my wedding. My parents are siding with her, saying family should come first.”

“I offered to have a livestream so she could watch, and I’d visit her in the hospital right after the ceremony. She called me selfish and now there’s a big rift in the family. My fiance is supporting me, but I can’t help but feel like a villain. Am I really the bad guy here for wanting to keep my original wedding date?” the poster asked.

There is a sea of support in the comment section, and many users disagree with the family. The top comment alone has 9,500 upvotes.

An extract says: “The world does not revolve around your sister. At any rate, who knows when she’ll actually have the baby. Babies usually don’t arrive on schedule. A livestream is a great idea.

“You’re not a villain at all. Your parents shouldn’t be involved. I would tell them that if family should come first, why are they allowing your sister to turn your wedding into an unpleasant experience and why are they putting her first?

“It is ridiculous for your parents to expect you to spend huge amounts of time and money and cost your guests huge amounts of time and money to rearrange the date for one person.”

Another agreed: “Seriously, why is it always ‘selfish’ to not move a wedding that’s already paid for and with guests already booking that day, but it’s not selfish to screw them all over and waste thousands of dollars to move the wedding for one person? Tell your sister the world doesn’t revolve around her.”

“I don’t even understand her logic,” posted a third commenter.

Newsweek reached out to u/skinnywardrobe for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

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