The season finale of Johnny Loves Taya culminated with a wedding renewal of vows for John Morrison and Taya Valkyrie. Of course, it couldn’t just be a simple affair. No, no, no. Drama was in the mix when Johnny was lost in the desert hours before the ceremony. The Mayor of Slamtown had to beat the clock, and he received help from Sasquatch, Lorenzo Llama, and Prince Nana along the way.
Context heading into episode 10 of Johnny Loves Taya was the aftermath of the epic bachelor party thrown by Brian Cage with loads of protein and pumping. Johnny was stranded in the desert, and he was in a rush to arrive for the Las Vegas wedding vow renewal with Taya. What’s a man to do in a situation like that? Parkour!
A musical montage about macros and gains showed Johnny tumbling off picnic tables, leaping over streams, sprinting through fields, flipping over bushes, and cruising down a Slip ‘N Slide. Johnny picked up a ride from his trusty steed Lorenzo Llama. The toy llama is an old pal from Johnny Caballero’s time in AAA.
Johnny also received a lift from Sasquatch.
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Taya’s stress was rising, then Johnny finally made it dressed in style. Emotional vows were exchanged, and Prince Nana entered as the ring bearer.
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The episode closed with cameos from Mark Briscoe, The Outrunners, Ethan Page, Lexy Nair, Abadon burping blood, Trent Beretta, Matt Cardona, and Dalton Castle offering mostly kind words. Once Castle realized this was for his rival, the party peacock spit in disgust to keep with ROH storyline continuity.
Press play to enjoy all the shenanigans, and you might even be moved to tears from the speeches by Johnny and Taya.
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No one loves like Johnny loves Taya.